Gayness???

   Someone asked me if I was offended by the article in last week’s Provincetown Banner that asked the question “Is Provincetown Losing It’s Gayness?”  At that point, I hadn’t yet seen said article, and it just seemed silly to me, so I laughed. Later, I wondered what it meant. Losing our gayness? What is gayness? Is it even a word? The article, which I finally read, was worried we are losing the magic that attracts so many tourists every summer, especially to Carnival. How times have changed! I remember BC (Before Carnival), when “gayness” was, shall I say, not celebrated quite the way it is today. Being gay myself, I enjoy the freedom of the day as much as anyone, but somewhere inside a tiny voice is saying, “Be careful! Remember when you could get arrested for walking down Commercial St holding your lover’s hand.” Lovers. That’s what we used to call our mates. There were no “husbands” or “wives”, except in the most sarcastic terms, because we never imagined we’d be able to get legally married. But, I can change with the times. It’s great to be able to refer to Betty as my wife, and really mean it. I love watching the reactions, too. Lots of people take it in stride, but some really don’t know how to deal with two elderly lesbians who refer to each other as “wife.” Forgive me, but I revel in their obvious discomfort. Anyway, back to the point. Are we losing our “gayness”? Maybe. Provincetown is not the gay destination it was because the world is becoming more accepting of gay culture, so many more destinations have made themselves attractive to gay people. Personally, I didn’t notice a decrease in the number of people in town this year, though I admit I have no idea how many were gay. No one really does. We had a good summer. There were a lot of people here, and we managed to keep them entertained, fed and housed without too much drama. Did they come here looking for “gayness”? Who knows, and what difference does it  make? If we can remain an attractive, fun, interesting destination, maybe we don’t need to worry about “gayness.”